Michael: What are you? Bionic?
Zohan: No, no, no, no, no, I only like the girls… Thanks anyways.

Michael: What are you? Bionic?
Zohan: No, no, no, no, no, I only like the girls… Thanks anyways.
Damon Macready: So… Have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday?
Mindy Macready: Can I get a puppy?
Damon Macready: [surprised] You wanna get a dog?
Mindy Macready: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one, and a Bratz movie-star make over Sasha!
[Damon is stunned]
Mindy Macready: [laughs] I'm just fucking with you Daddy! Look, I'd love a Benchmade model 42 butterfly knife.
Damon Macready: [relieved] Oh, child… You always knock me for a loop!
Mitch Planko: So I can't sleep with my wife, I can't sleep with other women. What the hell is that?
Dave: Marriage.
Ringo: Funny thing about safe deposit boxes… ain't nothing safe about them.
Monarch: Racers should race, cops should eat donuts.
Caesar Flickerman: So, Peeta, tell me, is there a special girl back home?
Peeta Mellark: No. No, not really.
Caesar Flickerman: No? I don't believe it for a second. Look at that face. Handsome man like you. Peeta… tell me.
Peeta Mellark: Well, there, uh… there is this one girl that I've had a crush on forever.
Caesar Flickerman: Ah.
Peeta Mellark: But I don't think she actually recognized me until the Reaping.
Caesar Flickerman: Well, I'll tell you what, Peeta. You go out there, and you win this thing, and when you get home, she'll have to go out with you. Right, folks?
Peeta Mellark: Thanks, but I, uh, I don't think winning's gonna help me at all.
Caesar Flickerman: And why not?
Peeta Mellark: Because she came here with me.
Bruce Kenner: I am starting to use my head again.
[from trailer]
President Snow: Miss Everdeen, it is the things we love most that destroy us.
Peeta Mellark: Katniss, I don't… I don't know kind of deals you made with Haymitch, but he made me promises too.
[Pulls off the necklace from around his neck]
Peeta Mellark: If you die, and I live, I'd have nothing. Nobody else that I care about.
Katniss Everdeen: Peeta.
Peeta Mellark: It's different for you. Your family needs you.
[Opens locket to reveal three pictures – Gale, Prim, and her Mother]
Peeta Mellark: You have to live. For them.
Katniss Everdeen: What about you?
Peeta Mellark: Nobody needs me.
Katniss Everdeen: I do. I need you.
Mark Kaminsky: [11:33] You should not drink and bake!