Otto Anderson: [to Marisol] You have given birth to two children. Soon it will be three. You have come here from a country very far away. You learned a new language, you got yourself an education and a nitwit husband and you are holding that family together. You will have no problem learning how to drive. My god, the world is full of complete idiots who have managed to figure it out, and you are not a complete idiot. So, cluch, shift, gas, drive.
Sam: Sometimes it feels like there are so many things in this world we can't control. Earthquakes, floods, reality shows… But it's important to remember the things that we can. Like forgiveness, second chances, fresh starts… Because the one thing that turns the world from the longing place to a beautiful place… is love. Love and any of its forms. Love gives us hope… Hope for the New Year. That's what New Year's Eve is to me. Hope and a great party!
Nick Fury: We have a job to do, and you're coming with us.
Peter Parker: There's gotta be someone else you can use. What about Thor?
Nick Fury: Off-world.
Peter Parker: Doctor Strange
Maria Hill: Unavailable.
Peter Parker: Captain Marvel.
Nick Fury: Don't you invoke her name!
Peter Parker: I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
Nick Fury: Bitch, please! You've been to space.
Nana: Traditions are the stories that families write together.
Blackbeard: Well, well, well. The princess, I presume.
Hook: Oh, well, actually I'm just a miner. But I appreciate the compliment.
Aunt May: [after seeing Peter with Spider-Man suit] What the Fu…
Sam's Dad: Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Raymond Sellars: Alex, we need to work together here, because I'm the only one with the technology to keep you alive.
RoboCop: Dead or alive, you're coming with me.
Brian May: It's America. They're puritans in public, perverts in private.
Satan: Every time a grown man sharts himself, a demon earns its horns.