[about the driver-shaped airbag]
Kevin Brown/K: Does that come standard?
Agent J: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
SOS – en segelsällskapsresa
Sea rescue operator: Sea rescue central Stockholm!
Stig Helmers mamma: My name is mrs Olsson. I am worried about my son who is in the archipelago.
Sea rescue operator: What is his position?
Stig Helmers mamma: His position? I believe that he's a controller at Toastmaster Ltd…
Sea rescue operator: The position of the boat! Where is the boat?
Stig Helmers mamma: He is somewhere near a phone booth because he called me a few moments ago.
Sea rescue operator: Then you shouldn't worry mrs Olsson. Thank you for calling.
Ocean’s 8
Debbie Ocean: If you're going to have a problem with stealing, then you're not going to like the rest of this conversation.
Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody
Clive Davis: Would you be willing to postpone your wedding to make a movie?
[Hands over a script]
Whitney Houston: The Bodyguard ? What's it about ?
Clive Davis: A world-famous singer and her difficult relationship with her bodyguard.
Whitney Houston: [Tosses script into a trash bin, then pauses] Who's the bodyguard ?
Clive Davis: Kevin Costner.
[Whitney Houston quickly reaches down and retrieves the script]
Varning för Jönssonligan
Dr. Schmetterlink: Sehr schön!
Charel-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: Ja, jag ser sjön.
Men in Black
Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
Edwards: What's the catch?
Kay: The catch? The catch is you will sever every human contact. Nobody will ever know you exist anywhere. Ever. I'll give you to sunrise to think it over.
[starts walking away]
Edwards: [shouting after Kay] Hey! Is it worth it?
Kay: Oh yeah, it's worth it…
[starts walking again, stops and turns back briefly]
Kay: … if you're strong enough!
Die Hard
Dwayne T. Robinson: I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered with glass.
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John McClane: Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm…
John McClane: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!
Elf
Buddy: [whispering to the department store Santa] You sit on a throne of lies!
Die Hard 4
Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane: I was out of bullets.
Ocean’s Thirteen
Terry Benedict: [referring to Danny donating Terry's share of the money to charity] You think this is funny?
Danny Ocean: Well, Terry, it sure as shit ain't sad.