Jessica's Dad: [walks in his bathroom covered in chocolate] Oh, my God. He shit everywhere.
[screaming]
Jessica's Dad: THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! DAMNIT! THEY SHIT ON THE WINDOWS! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE! LOOK WHAT HE DID HE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL!
Jay Sebring: Is everybody okay?
Rick Dalton: Well… the fuckin' hippies aren't. That's for goddamn sure.
Ben Barber: [breaking up a fight] Hey! You're white! You're white! You don't fight.
Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!
Joanna Reed: In the middle of most nights, when I can't sleep I still replay you
Allan Karlsson: [when finding the therapist dead on the floor, having choked to death on a champagne bottle cork] He's drunk himself to death quite quickly, he has. Well, at least he won't have to have any hangover tomorrow.
Fortsätt läsa Hundraettåringen som smet från notan och försvann
Paulette: Ooh… the bend and snap! I did that last night naked. I broke a window though.
Allan Karlsson: If you want to kill me, you'd better hurry, because I'm 100 years old.
Fortsätt läsa Hundraåringen som klev ut genom fönstret och försvann
Emmett: Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?
Enrique Salvatore: Yes.
Emmett: Where?
Enrique Salvatore: A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us.
Emmett: How long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
Enrique Salvatore: Three months.
Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is…
Enrique Salvatore: Chuck.
Emmett: Right.
[Everyone gasps/laughs]
Enrique Salvatore: Pardon me, pardon me. I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend.
Chuck: YOU BITCH!
Jack: Hey!
Ally: What?
Jack: I just wanted to take another look at you.