Ginny: So this is Jeff's new girlfriend. Do we like her?
Maggie Collins: [sighs] She is like a walking Instagram post. It's a little unnerving. I mean, her clothes never wrinkle.
Ginny: I see that.
Maggie Collins: How do you think she does that? Portable steamer?
Ginny: Does she have children of her own?
Maggie Collins: No.
Ginny: Mystery solved.
Doctor 'Bones' McCoy: [after removing shrapnel from Spock] Yeah. They say it hurts less if it's a surprise.
Commander Spock: If I may adopt a parlance with which you are familiar, I can confirm your theory to be horseshit.
Dick: I prefer Dick.
Mario Sepúlveda: That's not a rock, that's the heart of the mountain. She finally broke.
Sea rescue operator: Sea rescue central Stockholm!
Stig Helmers mamma: My name is mrs Olsson. I am worried about my son who is in the archipelago.
Sea rescue operator: What is his position?
Stig Helmers mamma: His position? I believe that he's a controller at Toastmaster Ltd…
Sea rescue operator: The position of the boat! Where is the boat?
Stig Helmers mamma: He is somewhere near a phone booth because he called me a few moments ago.
Sea rescue operator: Then you shouldn't worry mrs Olsson. Thank you for calling.
James T. Kirk: The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
Spock: An Arabic proverb attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects.
James T. Kirk: Well, still, it's a hell of a quote.
Henry: I don't think losing my father broke my mother's heart, but rather losing love itself.
Alexander: I studied philosophy, history of religion, aesthetics. And ended up putting myself in chains. Of my own free will.
Spock Prime: James T. Kirk!
James T. Kirk: Excuse me?
Spock Prime: How did you find me?
James T. Kirk: Whoa… how do you know my name?
Spock Prime: I have been and always shall be your friend.
James T. Kirk: Wha…
[shakes head]
James T. Kirk: Uh… look… I-I don't know you.
Spock Prime: I am Spock.
James T. Kirk: Bullshit.
William of Baskerville: But what is so alarming about laughter?
Jorge de Burgos: Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith, because without fear of the Devil there is no more need of God.