Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.
Policeman: So, what you doin here?
Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman: What's in the car?
Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.
[during drive to lake]
Stifler:
Oh, yeah. The Stifmeister’s coming back to Grand Harbor. Deck the halls. Bye-bye, Great Falls. Wipe my ass and lick my balls. It’s Stifler time, baby. Whoo-hoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo-hoo.
[Axel sees Rosewood with a huge pistol]
Axel Foley: Yo, man! What's that for?
Billy Rosewood: After the shootout at the club, I figured I needed more firepower.
Axel Foley: Yo man, we gotta talk, seriously. Who do you think you are, Clint Eastwood? Dirty Rosewood?
Tyler Durden: [31:14] The things you own end up owning you.
Gust Avrakotos:
There’s a little boy and on his 14th birthday he gets a horse… and everybody in the village says, ”how wonderful. The boy got a horse” And the Zen master says, ”we’ll see.” Two years later, the boy falls off the horse, breaks his leg, and everyone in the village says, ”How terrible.” And the Zen master says, ”We’ll see.” Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go off and fight… except the boy can’t cause his legs all messed up. and everybody in the village says, ”How wonderful.”
Charlie Wilson:
Now the Zen master says, ”We’ll see.”
Lee Butters:
You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up, okay? You have the right to an attorney. If you can’t afford an attorney, we’ll provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I’ll kill ya!
Ben:
”You’re never wrong to do the right thing.”
Jules:
Who said that, you?
Ben:
Yeah. But I’m pretty sure Mark Twain said it first.
Tutor 1: What does it feel like when you're dancing?
Billy: Don't know. Sorta feels good. Sorta stiff and that, but once I get going… then I like, forget everything. And… sorta disappear. Sorta disappear. Like I feel a change in my whole body. And I've got this fire in my body. I'm just there. Flyin' like a bird. Like electricity. Yeah, like electricity.
Lloyd Christmas:
We got no food, we got no jobs… our PETS’ HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
Rose O'Reilly: You're making $500,000 and giving me only $30,000?
Casey Mathis: $30,000? I'm only getting $1,000!
Kenny Rossmore: You guys are getting paid?