Edward Cole: Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.
Thomas: I'll keep that in mind as I approach decrepitude.
Etikettarkiv: Komedi
Mr. Beans semester
Waitress on Train: Un café?
Mr. Bean: Ah! Oui.
Waitress on Train: Du sucre?
Mr. Bean: Non.
Waitress on Train: You speak very good French.
Mr. Bean: Gracias!
The Stepford Wives
Claire Wellington: I asked myself, "Where would people never notice a town full of robots?"
[gasps]
Claire Wellington: Connecticut.
Yes Man
Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
John Smith: [while driving, pursued by hit men in three black BMW'S] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [slapping John's arms and legs] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.
3 bed, 2 bath, 1 ghost
Ruby Baker: Write to him, "My dearest Elliot, it is with great excitement and trepidation that-"
Anna Vazquez: -Texts him a coffee cup emoji and a question mark…
Ruby Baker: So that's how people communicate now? Ugh, tell me exactly, what do you do with all the time you save?
Anna Vazquez: Uh.
Yrrol
[subtitled version]
Husband: What is it you want help with? My plane leaves…
Taxi driver: Rob a bank at Folkungagatan.
Husband: Isn't that quite illegal?
Taxi driver: Are you religious?
Husband: No, but I was raised in Danderyd…
Du gör mig galen!
Pat: The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.
Brudens bäste man
Tom: Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.
Chocolat
Pere Henri: I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, His *tolerance*… Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around… measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think… we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create… and who we include.