Ox: Knock, knock!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
Ox: Buu!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
[Hightower lets go of Ox]
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
[Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]
Patty Tolan: [about Rowan's huge transformation] What part of "small and friendly" did he not understand?
Lee: Whassup, my nigga?
Bartender: What did you just say?
Lee: Whassup, my nigga.
Andrew Paxton: Three days ago, I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab. Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska and things started to changed. Things changed when we kissed. And when you told me about your tattoo. Even when you checked me out when we were naked. But I didn't realize any of this, until I was standing alone… in a barn… wifeless. Now, you could imagine my disappointment when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country. So Margaret, marry me, because I'd like to date you.
Liv: He's not trapped in there with them. They're trapped in here with him.
Bobby: You never heard the saying, never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties?
Les Grossman: First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
Grandma Sandy: You get reminded what a sack of shit you are five times a day, after a while, you can't believe *anyone* could ever love you.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick…
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
[Leaves]
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.
Grandma Sandy: You get reminded what a sack of shit you are five times a day, after a while, you can't believe *anyone* could ever love you.