Ox: Knock, knock!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
Ox: Buu!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
[Hightower lets go of Ox]
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
[Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]
Young Cleo: Why rats, Papa?
Ratcatcher: Rats are the lowliest and most despised of all creatures, my love. But if they have purpose, so do we all.
Sea rescue operator: Sea rescue central Stockholm!
Stig Helmers mamma: My name is mrs Olsson. I am worried about my son who is in the archipelago.
Sea rescue operator: What is his position?
Stig Helmers mamma: His position? I believe that he's a controller at Toastmaster Ltd…
Sea rescue operator: The position of the boat! Where is the boat?
Stig Helmers mamma: He is somewhere near a phone booth because he called me a few moments ago.
Sea rescue operator: Then you shouldn't worry mrs Olsson. Thank you for calling.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick…
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
[Leaves]
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.
Brorsan: It burst!
Willy Wonka: Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!
Charlie Bucket: You can eat the grass?
Willy Wonka: Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.
Fille: [after the samurai has risen out of the lawn] What the fuck? A hockey goalkeeper?
Lt. Mauser: [Mauser and Proctor are spying on Lassard greeting the new recruits in his office] So… these academy rats are going to save the precinct?
Proctor: Hey, personally, lieutenant, I hope they fall flat on their asses.
Lt. Mauser: That can be arranged, you know?
Proctor: What do you mean?
Lt. Mauser: Well, if they fail, I take over as commander of the precinct.
Lt. Mauser: So?
Lt. Mauser: So… we make sure they fail.
Proctor: Who?
Lt. Mauser: The new recruits.
Proctor: Why?
Lt. Mauser: If they fail, Lassard's out, I'm in. And I'm gonna need somebody to be the new watch commander. And you know who that's gonna be.
Proctor: [confused] Who?
Lt. Mauser: [annoyed] You, dickhead, you!
Proctor: Oh… oh… well, good idea.
Lt. Mauser: You're not playing with a full deck, are you?
Proctor: Oh, I don't play cards.
Persson: You see, I got the tip and I…
Justitieministern: Fishing?
Persson: Beg pardon?
Justitieministern: Mr Persson's hobby is fishing, am I right?
Persson: Well, yeah…
Justitieministern: Then I suggest that Mr Persson will make a big fishing trip. Starting tomorrow morning.
Persson: For how long?
Justitieministern: Early retirement normally lasts for life!
Otto Anderson: [to Marisol] You have given birth to two children. Soon it will be three. You have come here from a country very far away. You learned a new language, you got yourself an education and a nitwit husband and you are holding that family together. You will have no problem learning how to drive. My god, the world is full of complete idiots who have managed to figure it out, and you are not a complete idiot. So, cluch, shift, gas, drive.