Pick-up Guy: [sitting at the counter inside the Tarasco Bar] This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the fucking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his fuckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You fucking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the fuck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy."
Tre sekunder
Klimek: I don't have kids, I would suffer too much if something happened to them.
Ghostbusters
Egon: My parents didn't believe in toys.
Ray: You mean you never even had a Slinky?
Egon: We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.
Going in Style
Joe: These banks practically destroyed this country. They crushed a lot of people's dreams, and nothing ever happened to them. We three old guys, we hit a bank. We get away with it, we retire in dignity. Worse comes to worst, we get caught, we get a bed, three meals a day, and better health care than we got now.
Black Hawk Down
"Hoot": When I go home people'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do you do it man? What, you some kinda war junkie?" You know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is.
Unga Astrid
Astrid: [screaming joyfully] Good morning! Lemonade!
En riddares historia
Ivan Danko: I have car under control.
Art Ridzik: Yeah, I'm sure they taught you all about cars and the price of insurance at your famous Russian school in Kiev!
Ivan Danko: In socialist countries, insurance not necessary. State pays for everything.
Art Ridzik: Yeah? Well, tell me something, Captain. If you've got such a fucking paradise over there, how come you're up the same creek as we are with heroin and cocaine?
Ivan Danko: Chinese find way. Right after revolution, they round up all drug dealers, all drug addicts, take them to public square, and shoot them in back of head.
Art Ridzik: Ah, it'd never work here. Fucking politicians wouldn't go for it.
Ivan Danko: Shoot them first.
Yves Saint Laurent
Yves Saint Laurent: I don't fear critics.
Sicario 2: Soldado
Matt Graver: Fuck it all. Wipe it clean.
Queen Bees
Janet Poindexter: Okay, ladies, let's go. Let's go! Remember, sweat is just fat crying for attention.