Ox: Knock, knock!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
Ox: Buu!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
[Hightower lets go of Ox]
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
[Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]
Jimmy: It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive.
Balin: [sees a chamber full of dead dwarves, with their only means of escape blocked] The last of our kin. They must have come here hoping beyond hope. We could make for the mines. Might last a few days.
Thorin Oakenshield: No. I will not die like this, cowering, clawing for breath. We make for the forges.
Dwalin: He'll see us! Sure as death.
Thorin Oakenshield: Not if we split up.
Balin: Thorin, we'll never make it.
Thorin Oakenshield: Some of us might. Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!
Randy: [from the trailer] The way I see it, someone's out to make a sequel. You know, cash in on all the movie murder hoopla. So, it's our job to observe the rules of the sequel. Number one: the body count is always bigger. Number two: the death scenes are always much more elaborate. Carnage candy. And number three: never, ever, under any circumstances, assume the killer is dead.
Harry Hogge: Cole, you're wandering all over the track!
Cole Trickle: Yeah, well this son of a bitch just slammed into me.
Harry Hogge: No, no, he didn't slam you, he didn't bump you, he didn't nudge you… he *rubbed* you. And rubbin, son, is racin'.
Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.
Stig Helmer: Cheese Doodles, morsan, inte schäz doddles.
Bobby: You never heard the saying, never rob a bank across from a diner with the best donuts in three counties?
Lucy Hutton: It's gonna snow.
Joshua Templeman: How do you know that?
Lucy Hutton: Because it's a thing. I can smell weather.
Joshua Templeman: Well, that would make you the lamest X-Man ever.
Ox: Knock, knock!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
Ox: Buu!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
[Hightower lets go of Ox]
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
[Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]