[subtitled version]
Husband: What is it you want help with? My plane leaves…
Taxi driver: Rob a bank at Folkungagatan.
Husband: Isn't that quite illegal?
Taxi driver: Are you religious?
Husband: No, but I was raised in Danderyd…

[subtitled version]
Husband: What is it you want help with? My plane leaves…
Taxi driver: Rob a bank at Folkungagatan.
Husband: Isn't that quite illegal?
Taxi driver: Are you religious?
Husband: No, but I was raised in Danderyd…
Pat: The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.
Tom: Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you.
Devlin Adams: So, where's Danny?
Katherine: [pause] Devlin, Danny is at his wedding.
Devlin Adams: Come again?
Katherine: I was never married to him. All a big lie I made up.
Devlin Adams: Why?
Katherine: Because I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing the truth.
Devlin Adams: Really?
Katherine: So, yeah. I'm a single mother. I have two kids I love more than anything in the world. I drive a Honda, I still have dial-up internet. I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4. And while I'm at it telling the truth, I name my kids' poop after you. And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant. That's it.
Devlin Adams: Really? I would never have guessed this. I mean, you two had a real connection.
Katherine: He's great, he's the greatest guy, and I might even be in love with him, but it really doesn't matter at this moment because he is getting married to another person, right now.
Devlin Adams: [pause] Ian and I are breaking up.
Katherine: What? What happened?
Devlin Adams: Well for starters, he's gay. I mean look at him
Ian Maxtone Jones: [with a group of sailors] That's a strong muscle, right there. I'm squeezin'.
Katherine: Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night, with the ass grab of the coconut, little bit of a red flag.
Devlin Adams: I've seen him do that with the soap.
Katherine: Oh! What about the iPod?
Devlin Adams: He didn't invent shit. He made his money suing the Dodgers after he got hit by a foul ball.
Katherine: [laughs] Oh God! So what?
Devlin Adams: Well, this is different?
Katherine: Yeah, I mean, why didn't we try this truth telling thing before?
Devlin Adams: I don't know.
[They hug. Devlin sees Danny behind Katherine]
Danny: Aww, that's nice. It's nice to tell the truth. The truth is fun, isn't it? Like were you telling the truth when you said you might be in love with me?
Devlin Adams: I'm gonna leave you two. Gotta go get a divorce.
[last lines]
CIA Superior: What did we learn, Palmer?
CIA Officer: I don't know, sir.
CIA Superior: I don't fuckin' know either. I guess we learned not to do it again.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir.
CIA Superior: I'm fucked if I know what we did.
CIA Officer: Yes, sir, it's, uh, hard to say
CIA Superior: Jesus Fucking Christ.
Patty Fenn: [final line] So what the hell kind of show are we going to do next week?
Mikey: Goonies never say die!
Mullins: My fear is that I'm gonna put you in a bikini and you'll still look like a fucking bank teller.
Hoover Dam Guide: Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take you through a fully funtional power plant, so please, no one wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?
Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some damn bait?
Lee Butters: You have the right to remain silent, so shut the fuck up, okay? You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we'll provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya!