Julian: …but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!

Julian: …but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!
Bella Flores: I guess it was unrealistic to think that anybody would show up when everybody has their own problems.
Scott Voss: You showed up.
Bella Flores: You shut up.
Polis: [Måns is arrested by the police after throwing out furniture] Well, how did this happen?
Måns: Ehm, what?
Polis: Well, there's furniture on the street, under your balcony…
Måns: I accidentally dropped them…
Polis: Really? How?
Måns: I don't know… I was going to… refurbish… a little and then i tripped… it was some little… edge that…
Polis: On the balcony?
Måns: Yes, exactly…
Polis: With a whole drawer, a TV and an aquarium?
Måns: Mm…
Candice Adams: How come everyone had a better time at my wedding than I did?
Sawyer Adams: Because you had a terrible date.
Starsky: Do it.
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
Amelia: I have to go.
Viktor Navorski: I have to stay.
Amelia: Story of my life.
Viktor Navorski: Me too.
Irène: But charm is more valuable than beauty. You can resist beauty, but you can't resist charm.
Wes Mantooth: With the things I've done in my life, oh, I know I'm going to burn in hell. So I sure as shit ain't afraid to burn here on earth.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, my goodness! That's the most badass thing I've ever heard!
Alice: But, you know, God, you make a decision about your life when you're 25 years old and then you fast-forward 15 years later and you think, God, was that really the life decision that's, like, a good life decision for the rest of your life? Then you're just, like, "I don't know."