John Grogan: A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?
Young Cleo: Why rats, Papa?
Ratcatcher: Rats are the lowliest and most despised of all creatures, my love. But if they have purpose, so do we all.
Mandi Weatherly: Jo Mitchell, you have no idea how scary I can be.
Greg: Orson Fortune. That is a sexy name. It is. You must fancy him a bit.
Charles-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: The hole!
Rocky: Huh?
Charles-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: The hole!
Rocky: The hole?
Charles-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: The *clay*!
Rocky: Oh!
[gives Sickan a tiny clay horse]
Charles-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: What's this?
Rocky: I made a little horse!
Charles-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: [mashes the clay horse into a pulp]
Rocky: [shocked] My horse!
Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
Summer Quinn: [about CJ Parker] Why does she always look like she's running in slow-mo?
Ronnie Greenbaum: You see it too?
Summer Quinn: And she always looks wet, but not too wet.
Ronnie Greenbaum: Right? She's the reason I believe in God.
Wes Mantooth: With the things I've done in my life, oh, I know I'm going to burn in hell. So I sure as shit ain't afraid to burn here on earth.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, my goodness! That's the most badass thing I've ever heard!
Edward Cole: Three things to remember when you get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.
Thomas: I'll keep that in mind as I approach decrepitude.
Dr. Schmetterlink: Sehr schön!
Charel-Ingvar 'Sickan' Jönsson: Ja, jag ser sjön.