Howard: Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore.
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Howard: Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore.
Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.
Joe Gavilan: Don't call me sir. I work for a living.
Pere Henri: I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, His *tolerance*… Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around… measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think… we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create… and who we include.
Julian: …but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!
Bella Flores: I guess it was unrealistic to think that anybody would show up when everybody has their own problems.
Scott Voss: You showed up.
Bella Flores: You shut up.
Polis: [Måns is arrested by the police after throwing out furniture] Well, how did this happen?
Måns: Ehm, what?
Polis: Well, there's furniture on the street, under your balcony…
Måns: I accidentally dropped them…
Polis: Really? How?
Måns: I don't know… I was going to… refurbish… a little and then i tripped… it was some little… edge that…
Polis: On the balcony?
Måns: Yes, exactly…
Polis: With a whole drawer, a TV and an aquarium?
Måns: Mm…
Candice Adams: How come everyone had a better time at my wedding than I did?
Sawyer Adams: Because you had a terrible date.
Starsky: Do it.
Derek Zoolander: Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Derek Zoolander: If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident.