Wrigley:
Uh, I’ll just have a, um, salad, please. Um, baby field greens.
Nero’s Waitress:
What did you call me?
Wrigley:
Uh, no, I-I… I-I didn’t call you anything.
Nero’s Waitress:
You want a salad?
Wrigley:
Yeah. Do you… Do you have a, uh, green salad?
Nero’s Waitress:
What the fuck color would it be?
Mr. Fitzhugh: Shouldn't we be avoiding law enforcement? I never saw an episode of Matlock where the criminal banged Matlock!
Walter Lovell:
The thing is, you can’t take away one terrible thing you did any more than you can take away the millions of beautiful things that we had together. That’s a million to one. If you can live with that ratio for another few years, then so can I.
Reggie:
Jack… Tell me a story.
Jack:
Fuck you!
Reggie:
Oh, that’s one of my favorites.
Axel:
You got a fifty dollar bill?
Jon Flint:
I got a wife and three kids. I haven’t seen a fifty in twelve years.
Jeremy Grey:
I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.
John Beckwith:
Soft mattress?
Jeremy Grey:
Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room. One of those probably added to the lack of sleep.
Ben Barber:
[breaking up a fight]
Hey! You’re white! You’re white! You don’t fight.
Samantha Jones: There ought to be a law against hiring a nanny who looks like that.
Carrie Bradshaw: Yeah, the Jude Law.
Astrid Young Teo:
It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can’t make you something you’re not.
Edmundo:
You put the weed in the coconut, and light that shit up.