Etikettarkiv: Komedi

Delivery Man

Delivery Man

David: Emma… Will you marry me?
Emma: Won't you wanna wait and see if I get my figure back?
David: If you stay flabby, I promise I'll get flabby as well.
Emma: Wonder if that's the first time the word "flabby" has been used in a marriage proposal.
[she kisses him]
David: Emma… I'm Starbuck.
Emma: [whispers angrily] Why are you always scamming? God, how could you think that a marriage proposal would excuse the fact that you're the father of 533 children? David! God! No, this… this is no longer your child!
David: I wanna be very clear on two points. The first point: I said I was going to change as quickly as possible, and I am doing that. I've had a chance to do a lot of thinking. A lot. And I've come to the conclusion that it's not anyone *but me* who can decide if I am a father or not. Not a judge, not my family, not Dr. Phil… And in the end, not you. In other words, no one but the father can decide if he is the father or not. And I, David Wozniak, am the father of this child. Now, the other reality that can't be changed, is the fact that I am Starbuck. Now, this obviously can be something frightening, since it's something totally new and no one on this planet has ever experienced it before. It's, uh, you know, it's it's… it is like the first steps on the moon. But despite a few drawbacks, I think that we can actually take away from this a tremendous amount of joy. Not to mention *vast amounts* of free babysitting. I don't know how this is gonna work out. Right now, me coming out and revealing who I am, I'm risking everything. I'm risking *all* for the well-being of my 533 kids. And I would think that you seeing me risk all should convince you that whatever happens, that no matter what turmoil this kid right here gets into, I will be there. Now, you asked me to have a life. Well, here it is. This is my life. Maybe a little bit strange. And a bit oversized. But it's my life. The second point…
Emma: That was a very long first point.
David: The first point was long. The second point… The marriage proposal was not a scam.
Emma: The second point was much shorter.
David: I need you in my life.
[Emma sighs before she leans in and kisses him again]
Emma: Promise me one day you'll take me to Venice.

Fortsätt läsa Delivery Man

Wedding of a Lifetime

Wedding of a Lifetime

Vic Baldwin: [as he and cohost Molly are interviewing a couple on air] Now, I understand you met Sam when he rescued you from a burning building?
Kelsey Simpson: That's right, and it was love at first sight.
Molly Hart: [as she and Vic laugh about the pun after the statement] So, I guess you can say it was a *combustible* relationship.
Sam Turner: [seriously] Actually, we don't make jokes about fire safety.

Fortsätt läsa Wedding of a Lifetime

Tropic thunder

Tropic thunder (2008)

Les Grossman: First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

Fortsätt läsa Tropic thunder (2008)