Etikettarkiv: Komedi

Hidden Gems

Hidden Gems

Addy: I don't wanna upset them.
Jack: What about upsetting yourself? You don't wanna become a supporting player in your own life story, right? You wanna be the, you know, the leading lady.
Addy: Oh, gosh, you are… you are insufferably insightful.
Jack: Yeah, I know.
Addy: It doesn't make it any easier, though.
Jack: I know.

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Supersugen

Supersugen

Fogell: Yo guys! Sup?
Seth: Fogell, where have you been, man? You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack. Let me see it. Did you pussy out or what?
Fogell: No noooo, man. I got it; it is flawless. Check it!
Evan: [examining the fake ID] Hawaii. All right, that's good. That's hard to trace, I guess. Wait… you changed your name to… McLovin?
Fogell: Yeah.
Evan: McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?
Fogell: Naw, they let you pick any name you want when you get down there.
Seth: And you landed on McLovin…
Fogell: Yeah. It was between that or Muhammed.
Seth: Why the FUCK would it be between THAT or Muhammed? Why don't you just pick a common name like a normal person?
Fogell: Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth. Read a fucking book for once.
Evan: Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?
Fogell: Have YOU actually ever met anyone named McLovin?
Seth: No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name!
Fogell: Fuck you.
Seth: Gimme that. All right, you look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says "McLovin"!
Evan: What? One name? ONE NAME? Who are you? Seal?
Seth: Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
Fogell: Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face: every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs, and every single one says they're 21. Pssh, how many 21 year olds do you think there are in this town? It's called fucking strategy, all right?
Evan: Stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads. It's… it's a fine ID; it'll… it's gonna work. It's passable, okay? This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell. This guy is either gonna think 'Here's another kid with a fake ID' or 'Here's McLovin, a 25 year-old Hawaiian organ donor'. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] … I am McLovin!
Seth: No you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb FUCKING FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU FUCK!

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A Very Merry Bridesmaid

A Very Merry Bridesmaid

Leah Taylor: I just love poinsettias. They're so happy.
Drew Vaughn: Happy?
Leah Taylor: Yea. They're happy. Don't these make you happy? I can see why Paul wants to get married around a whole bunch of them. Did you know that these are actually the Christmas Eve flower?
Drew Vaughn: Really?
Leah Taylor: Yea. I think it was back in the sixteenth century. The story is that there was a little girl in Mexico. And she gathered up a bunch of weeds to bring to her church on Christmas Eve and a miracle turned them from green to red.

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