Dina Byrnes: I had no idea you could milk a cat!
Greg Focker: Oh yeah, you can milk anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: [He reacts] I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
Etikettarkiv: Komedi
The Cable Guy
Chip Douglas: The future is now! Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer. You'll be able to visit the Louvre on one channel, or watch female wrestling on another. You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities!
Kopps
Agneta: Benny, Do you think my tits are baggy?
Instant Family
Grandma Sandy: You get reminded what a sack of shit you are five times a day, after a while, you can't believe *anyone* could ever love you.
Blended
Lauren: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
Jim: Cancer.
Lauren: [awkward pause] I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
Jim: It's okay. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself, so we're even.
22 Jump Street
[from trailer]
Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, whassup, homie? Everyone saying at the barrio that "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine and shit!" My partner here wanna see that product.
Scarface: [pointing at Jenko] Why ain't he talking?
Jenko: [after a moment of silence; in a high-pitched voice] My name Jeff!
Mean Machine
[Watching the monk practice karate]
Doc: Apparently he killed 23 men with his bare hands.
Danny Meehan: Maybe I should take up karate.
Doc: That was before he took up karate.
Borta bäst, hemma värst
Howard: Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore.
The Ugly Truth
Mike Chadway: [sarcasticly] Oh, I know, I've got a great idea! Why don't we pass the time with you telling me how much *fun* you and Colin had having sex in Los Angeles?
Abby Richter: I broke up with Colin in Los Angeles, you jackass!
Mike Chadway: What?
Abby Richter: Oh, oh yeah, that's got your interest. Well if you think we're going to finish what we started in L. A. you are out of your mind. You lost your chance.
Mike Chadway: Oh, c'mon, I never had a chance with you.
Abby Richter: You're right. I had a momentary lapse in judgement when I thought you were more than you are, but you aren't. Clearly.
Mike Chadway: Oh, yeah? Well what does that mean?
Abby Richter: [mockingly] I'm Mike Chadway. I like girls in Jello. I like to fuck like a monkey. Don't fall in love. It's scary.
Mike Chadway: Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you.
Abby Richter: I am not a psycho!
Mike Chadway: I just told you that I loved you and all you heard was "psycho." Well you're the definition of neurotic.
Abby Richter: No! The definition of neurotic is a person who suffers from anxiety, obessive thoughts, compulsive acts, and, and physical ailments without any objective evidence of…
Mike Chadway: Shut up! Yet again I just told you I'm in love with you and you're standing here giving me a vocabulary lesson.
Abby Richter: You're in love with me. Why?
Mike Chadway: Beats the shit out of me, but I am.
[she leans over and kisses him]
Hollywood Homicide
Joe Gavilan: Don't call me sir. I work for a living.