[from trailer]
Dave Harken: [Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.
Etikettarkiv: Komedi
Logan Lucky
Warden Burns: As warden, I can approve buying a copy of A Dance With Dragons for the prison library to go up on the Game of Thrones shelf. Now, the only problem is that The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring have yet to be published so those aren't available. Well, I can't do anything about what I can't control.
Naaman: That is total bullshit! George R.R. Martin was supposed to deliver The Winds of Winter to his publisher over two years ago.
Warden Burns: I know that was the original deadline. That's what it says here. But I'm reading to you from the Wikipedia page. It also says that Martin had a grueling promotion schedule or something, and it's interfered with his writing schedule. He's failed to complete The Winds of Winter.
Naaman: That don't make no sense. Those two guys who transferred in from Federal last month knew about all the new stuff with the hot chick and her dragons.
Warden Burns: No. I'm telling you, I believe those two inmates had that information from watching the TV series. Again, I'm reading to you. The series has jumped ahead! It's no longer following the books!
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
Allison: The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.
Natt på museet 2
Kah Mun Rah: [Darth Vader holds his hand up with a pinching motion] What is that? What is that? What does it mean? I don't know… you've lost me. Is that your breathing? Because I can't hear myself think.
[pause]
Kah Mun Rah: Let me tell you kindly, just simplify. There's too much going on! You're not evil, you're asthmatic, and what's with the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Goodbye!
[Darth Vader and Oscar the Grouch leave]
The upside of anger
Lavender "Popeye" Wolfmeyer: People don't know how to love. They bite rather than kiss. They slap rather than stroke. Maybe it's because they recognize how easy it is for love to go bad, to become suddenly impossible… unworkable, an exercise of futility. So they avoid it and seek solace in angst, and fear, and aggression, which are always there and readily available. Or maybe sometimes… they just don't have all the facts.
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Easter Island Head: HEY!
[pauses]
Easter Island Head: Dum-dum.
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[some people are running away]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun.
[Attila yells and chases Larry]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!
Booksmart
Molly: It's fun your mom thinks we're boning.
Amy: It isn't you who has to deal with their awkward looks when I say that I'm going to the library with you and I'm actually going to the library with you.
Bad neighbours 2
Kelly Radner: And the truth is they are lovely girls.
Mac Radner: Yes, super nice girls.
Jessica Baiers: Well, I don't think that they are because we literally saw them robbing your house.
Kelly Radner: Oh, thanks for fucking stopping them!
På spaning med Bridget Jones
Daniel Cleaver: [Daniel Cleaver and Mark Darcy have just had a fistfight over Bridget] You know what, mate? If you are so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her?
Mark Darcy: [turns away and starts to walk]
Daniel Cleaver: [pause] Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
[Mark dives again into the fountain]
The nice guys
Holland March: Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt.
Jackson Healy: People got hurt.
Holland March: I'm saying, I think they died quickly. So I don't think they got hurt.