Leslie Rodgers: How do you sleep at night?
Parker: I don't drink coffee after 7.

Leslie Rodgers: How do you sleep at night?
Parker: I don't drink coffee after 7.
Oskar Matzerath: There once was a drummer. His name was Oskar. He lost his poor mama, who had eat to much fish. There was once a credulous people… who believed in Santa Claus. But Santa Claus was really… the gas man! There was once a toy merchant. His name was Sigismund Markus… and he sold tin drums lacquered red and white. There was once a drummer. His name was Oskar. There was once a toy merchant… whose name was Markus… and he took all the toys in the world away with him.
Kurt Nygren: Thought you were the press officer, not a police officer.
Aspen: Well… that thing with the ladies will have to be put under wraps. You, of all people, know what can happen when a situation gets sticky.
The Queen: They take a lot of photographs of you, don't they? The only photograph they take that really matters is the one they put on the ten-pound note, and they took that one. You understand, my dear, that all you are is currency.
Lauren: You know, I'm curious. With so many possible reasons, which one's the one your wife left you for?
Jim: Cancer.
Lauren: [awkward pause] I'm sorry. I naturally just assumed you were divorced.
Jim: It's OK. I naturally assumed your husband shot himself, so we're even.
Stan Hurley: Patriotism exists because people like you and people like me need a higher cause. Something bigger than us.
Avery: I'm glad we scheduled this during our lunch breaks so we could do this together!
David: Hey, you took a business call too.
Avery: David, we're choosing our wedding cake and you hardly even looked at them.
[from trailer]
Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, whassup, homie? Everyone saying at the barrio that "Sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine and shit!" My partner here wanna see that product.
Scarface: [pointing at Jenko] Why ain't he talking?
Jenko: [after a moment of silence; in a high-pitched voice] My name Jeff!
Jake: Maximize your wins, minimize your losses… and stay in the game as long as you can.
Robert Langdon: This is the original icon for male. It's a rudimentary phallus.
Sophie Neveu: Quite to the point.
Sir Leigh Teabing: Yes, indeed.
Robert Langdon: This is know as the blade. It represents aggression and manhood. It's a symbol still used today in modern military uniforms.
Sir Leigh Teabing: Yes, the more penises you have, the higher your rank. Boys will be boys.