Truman: [repeated line; frequently in the show] Good morning, oh and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Truman: [repeated line; frequently in the show] Good morning, oh and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Ian Donnelly: [reading from a book by Louise Banks] "Language is the foundation of civilization. It is the glue that holds a people together. It is the first weapon drawn in a conflict."
[from trailer]
Dave Harken: [Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.
Detective Hagan: Do you want to explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone? One block from the victim's house. Just moments after he got shot dead.
Nick Hendricks: I was drag-racing. I'm a drag-racer.
Detective Samson: You were drag-racing.
Nick Hendricks: [nods]
Detective Samson: In a Prius.
Nick Hendricks: I don't win a lot.
Torsten: Are you going to call the police? But I am the police.
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.
Dr. Wilbur Larch: Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.
Pere Henri: I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, His *tolerance*… Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around… measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think… we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create… and who we include.
Detective Travis Cole: Okay, but I gotta… I gotta cross my "i"s and dot my "t"s.
[Last Barman poem]
Brian: I am the last barman poet / I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make / Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake / The sex on the beach / The schnapps made from peach / The velvet hammer / The Alabama slammer. / I make things with juice and froth / The pink squirrel / The three-toed sloth. / I make drinks so sweet and snazzy / The iced tea / The kamakazi / The orgasm / The death spasm / The Singapore sling / The dingaling. / America you've just been devoted to every flavor I got / But if you want to got loaded / Why don't you just order a shot? / Bar is open.