Ethan Tremblay: [from trailer]
[talking to a can full of his dad's ashes]
Ethan Tremblay: Dad… You were like a father to me.
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Grown Ups
Gloria: I have a confession to make too. I'm really a man.
[Everyone – OH, Yeah, I told you, etc]
Gloria: Just kidding! I'm really hurt that so many of you believed this.
Repmånad – eller hur man gör pojkar av män
Oskar Löfgren: Mr. Jonsson doesn't have a driving licence!
Shazam!
[Shazam and Freddy confront armed robbers in convenience store]
Shazam: Gentlemen, why use guns when we can handle this like real men?
[Shazam takes gun of out robber's hand]
Freddy Freeman: Billy, look out!
[the other robber shoots him, the bullet ricochets off him]
Freddy Freeman: Bullet immunity. You have bullet immunity!
Shazam: [shocked] I'm bulletproof.
[they both laugh before Shazam's expression suddenly turns serious]
Freddy Freeman: [filming on his phone] Today is December 8th, and this video proof of authenticity. Shoot him again.
Shazam: [hands back the robber's gun] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here. Go. Both of you! Come on. Go to town.
Freddy Freeman: Wait, wait, wait. We still don't know if the suit is bulletproof, or if you are. Shoot him in the face.
Shazam: Shoot me in the face. In the face?
[both robbers shoot Shazam in his face and the bullets ricochet off him]
Shazam: It kinda tickles.
[turning back to the robbers]
Shazam: You're dead.
[both robbers fly out the window in front of a couple]
Shazam: [walking out of store with junk food] Sorry about your window.
Freddy Freeman: Have a good night!
Shazam: But you're welcome for not getting robbed!
Christmas CEO
Christmas Winnacker: CJ's Toys and Arlo Toys are merging, so apparently, and legally, I need your signature to uh… move forward with the merger.
Joe Sullivan: Hmm… Nooo.
Christmas Winnacker: No? What do you mean, no?
Joe Sullivan: Like the usual definition of no, like, nooo.
Crocodile Dundee
Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee: Well, you see, Aborigines don't own the land.They belong to it. It's like their mother. See those rocks? Been standing there for 600 million years. Still be there when you and I are gone. So arguing over who owns them is like two fleas arguing over who owns the dog they live on.
Beetlejuice
Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?
Magic Mike’s Last Dance
Mike Lane: I don't fuck with vegetables.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Charlie Swan: [seeing Edward & Jake close to physically fighting each other] Hey, hey, hey… Easy, guys, easy… Let's take it down a notch, all right? What's going on?
Jacob Black: [pause] I kissed Bella.
[pause]
Jacob Black: And she broke her hand.
[pause]
Jacob Black: Punching my face.
[pause]
Jacob Black: It was a complete misunderstanding.
Philadelphia
Joe Miller: Have you ever felt discriminated against at Wyatt Wheeler?
Anthea Burton: Well, yes.
Joe Miller: In what way?
Anthea Burton: Well, Mr. Wheeler's secretary, Lydia, said that Mr. Wheeler had a problem with my earrings.
Joe Miller: Really?
Anthea Burton: Apparently Mr. Wheeler felt that they were too…"Ethnic" is the word she used. And she told me that he said that he would like it if I wore something a little less garish, a little smaller, and more "American."
Joe Miller: What'd you say?
Anthea Burton: I said my earrings are American. They're African-American.