Mark Watney: I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.

Mark Watney: I don't want to come off as arrogant here, but I'm the greatest botanist on this planet.
Fuji: [speaking about 'Crocodile' Dundee] Do you know who that was?
Cato: No.
Fuji: Clint Eastwood.
Lieutenant Debbie Callahan: You had impressive moves for a cadet.
Cadet Nogata: Thank you. You see, it's a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom.
Lieutenant Debbie Callahan: Interesting theory.
Sandy: My parents want to invite you over for tea on Sunday.
Danny: I don't like tea.
Sandy: [laughing] You don't have to drink tea.
Danny: I don't like parents.
Robert Langdon: [direct] The greatest sins in human history have been committed in the name of love.
[shaking head]
Robert Langdon: No one will look on this act and call it love.
Sienna Brooks: [resigned] They'll be alive. What does it matter what they say about us?
[Rudd fires at Riggs, hitting him several times. Riggs falls, writhing in pain. Arjen's gun clicks empty. Roger aims at him]
Roger Murtaugh: [shouting] DROP IT, ASSHOLE!
Martin Riggs: [weakly] Rog…
Arjen Rudd: [holds up his wallet] Diplomatic immunity.
[Roger slowly rolls his head on his neck, takes aim, and fires – his bullet goes through Rudd's wallet, and then his head]
Roger Murtaugh: It's *just been revoked*!
Devlin Adams: So, where's Danny?
Katherine: [pause] Devlin, Danny is at his wedding.
Devlin Adams: Come again?
Katherine: I was never married to him. All a big lie I made up.
Devlin Adams: Why?
Katherine: Because I couldn't stand the thought of you knowing the truth.
Devlin Adams: Really?
Katherine: So, yeah. I'm a single mother. I have two kids I love more than anything in the world. I drive a Honda, I still have dial-up internet. I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4. And while I'm at it telling the truth, I name my kids' poop after you. And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant. That's it.
Devlin Adams: Really? I would never have guessed this. I mean, you two had a real connection.
Katherine: He's great, he's the greatest guy, and I might even be in love with him, but it really doesn't matter at this moment because he is getting married to another person, right now.
Devlin Adams: [pause] Ian and I are breaking up.
Katherine: What? What happened?
Devlin Adams: Well for starters, he's gay. I mean look at him
Ian Maxtone Jones: [with a group of sailors] That's a strong muscle, right there. I'm squeezin'.
Katherine: Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night, with the ass grab of the coconut, little bit of a red flag.
Devlin Adams: I've seen him do that with the soap.
Katherine: Oh! What about the iPod?
Devlin Adams: He didn't invent shit. He made his money suing the Dodgers after he got hit by a foul ball.
Katherine: [laughs] Oh God! So what?
Devlin Adams: Well, this is different?
Katherine: Yeah, I mean, why didn't we try this truth telling thing before?
Devlin Adams: I don't know.
[They hug. Devlin sees Danny behind Katherine]
Danny: Aww, that's nice. It's nice to tell the truth. The truth is fun, isn't it? Like were you telling the truth when you said you might be in love with me?
Devlin Adams: I'm gonna leave you two. Gotta go get a divorce.
Chelsea Bowden: I hope they find the person who did it soon; I don't want to be studying for my college finals in a prison cell next year.
Beth: I just want you to know that I'll come visit you every weekend.
Chelsea Bowden: Really?
Beth: Every other weekend. I like to sleep in on Sundays.
Bob Lee Swagger: I don't think you understand. These boys killed my dog.
Molly: It's fun your mom thinks we're boning.
Amy: It isn't you who has to deal with their awkward looks when I say that I'm going to the library with you and I'm actually going to the library with you.