I sit at a living room table patiently cutting a sign that says 40 out of coloured cardboard. Her husband is turning 40 and this is a surprise party for him. The sign I’m cutting out is pretty meaningless on the scale of the Solar system. Tomorrow it will be thrown out in the garbage and forgotten but today it connects me with people. As the guests come in I show them where to put their coats and point them to the bar. We chat, we laugh. I move the muscles of the mask that covers my pain, it becomes a face again. The feeling of warmth and love melts a small part of my pain. I am a tiny particle in the bigger body of humanity. Acknowledging it and extending my hand to other people saves me from slashing my wrists with a kitchen knife.
Once we know the number one, we believe that we know the number two, because one plus one equals two. We forget that first we must know the meaning of plus.
I don’t think losing my father broke my mother’s heart, but rather losing love itself.
[talking to Anna about Bob Marley]
He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate… literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people’s lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why – He said, ”The people, who were trying to make this world worse… are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness.”
What about me? Am I your friend? Or am I just some… some widget to help you make Sylvia feel better about herself? Why did you invite me to be part of your book club? No, what went through your mind the first time you saw me? ”There’s a man who is *dying* to read every book Jane Austen ever wrote.” Is that what you thought?
But I thought, ”What a beautiful woman. I hope she looks over at me.” I thought if I read your favorite books that you would read mine. But no… no, no. You just want to be obeyed. That’s why you have dogs.
I’m her… sorta… like… Maisie’s stepfather.
So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me… everyday.
Eat my shit.
What’d you say?
I said eat… my… shit.
Have you lost your mind?
No, ma’am but you is about to. ‘Cause you just did.