Lloyd Christmas: Hey, Har. You wanna hear the second most annoying sound in the world?
Harry Dunne: Sure.
[constantly rings the doorbell]
Harry Dunne: Yeah, that's pretty annoying.
Lloyd Christmas: No, not that.
Mrs. Stainer: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING RINGING OUR DOORBELL LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?
Lloyd Christmas: That!
Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.
Mark Baum:
I don’t get it. Why are they confessing?
Danny Moses:
They’re not confessing.
Porter Collins:
They’re bragging.
Bob Lee Swagger: I don't think you understand. These boys killed my dog.
Sybil Stone:
[to Amy, after opening Meredith’s Christmas gift, a photo of a very pregnant Sybil]
That’s me and you, kid.
[Amy looks up, crying and nodding]
Sybil Stone:
Me and you.
Jane Kano:
I need you to exhibit some attention-seeking behavior.
Sabina Wilson:
I have so many ideas.
George Wade:
Before you came into my life I could make all kinds of decisions, now I can’t, I’m addicted, I have to know what you think!
[holds up cufflinks]
George Wade:
What do you think?
Lucy Kelson:
George, I think you are the most selfish human being on the planet.
George Wade:
Well that’s just silly. Have you met everybody on the planet?
Lucy Kelson:
Goodbye George.
[she leaves]
Keith Michaels:
Dr. Lerner, you must have an opinion on this?
Dr. Lerner:
Hah! I have a wife and four daughters; I have no opinions.
Marvin Boggs:
I never thought I’d say this again. *I am getting the pig*!
[Arthur blows up a truck]
Charlie Croker: You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!