Jack Byrnes: Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?
Greg Focker: To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that.
Jack Byrnes: [sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?
Greg Focker: Yes. Even after that. It's still… It's all good. It's all good under the hood.
Jack Byrnes: That's disgusting.
Ginny: So this is Jeff's new girlfriend. Do we like her?
Maggie Collins: [sighs] She is like a walking Instagram post. It's a little unnerving. I mean, her clothes never wrinkle.
Ginny: I see that.
Maggie Collins: How do you think she does that? Portable steamer?
Ginny: Does she have children of her own?
Maggie Collins: No.
Ginny: Mystery solved.
Dick: I prefer Dick.
Sea rescue operator: Sea rescue central Stockholm!
Stig Helmers mamma: My name is mrs Olsson. I am worried about my son who is in the archipelago.
Sea rescue operator: What is his position?
Stig Helmers mamma: His position? I believe that he's a controller at Toastmaster Ltd…
Sea rescue operator: The position of the boat! Where is the boat?
Stig Helmers mamma: He is somewhere near a phone booth because he called me a few moments ago.
Sea rescue operator: Then you shouldn't worry mrs Olsson. Thank you for calling.
Kelly Garrett: Angels are like diamonds. They can't be made, you have to find them. Each one is unique.
Ben: "You're never wrong to do the right thing."
Jules: Who said that, you?
Ben: Yeah. But I'm pretty sure Mark Twain said it first.
Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris: Son, where did you get that gun?
Cadet Eugene Tackleberry: [smiling proudly] My mum gave it to me.
Sara: Forgive me if I get a little emotional, but this is the day every mother dreams of. The day she watches her only daughter put a lock on her bedroom door, to keep her husband out.
Lieutenant Debbie Callahan: You had impressive moves for a cadet.
Cadet Nogata: Thank you. You see, it's a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom.
Lieutenant Debbie Callahan: Interesting theory.
Göte: [repeated phrase] Put your weight on the downward ski, darling!