[From trailer]
Bilbo Baggins: One day I'll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad, those who survived… and those that did not.

[From trailer]
Bilbo Baggins: One day I'll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad, those who survived… and those that did not.
Balin: [sees a chamber full of dead dwarves, with their only means of escape blocked] The last of our kin. They must have come here hoping beyond hope. We could make for the mines. Might last a few days.
Thorin Oakenshield: No. I will not die like this, cowering, clawing for breath. We make for the forges.
Dwalin: He'll see us! Sure as death.
Thorin Oakenshield: Not if we split up.
Balin: Thorin, we'll never make it.
Thorin Oakenshield: Some of us might. Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!
Galadriel: Mithrandir? Why the Halfling?
Gandalf: I don't know. Saruman believes that it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I have found. I've found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? Perhaps it is because I am afraid, and he gives me courage.
Queen Atlanna: I am Atlanna, Queen of Atlantis.
Thomas Curry: I am Thomas, Keeper of Lighthouse.
Kah Mun Rah: [Darth Vader holds his hand up with a pinching motion] What is that? What is that? What does it mean? I don't know… you've lost me. Is that your breathing? Because I can't hear myself think.
[pause]
Kah Mun Rah: Let me tell you kindly, just simplify. There's too much going on! You're not evil, you're asthmatic, and what's with the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Goodbye!
[Darth Vader and Oscar the Grouch leave]
Ichabod Crane: Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.
Morticia: Wednesday's at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.
Ellen: Boys?
Wednesday: Homicide.
John Hancock: All of you people, blocking the intersection, you're all idiots.
Rail Crossing Crowd #1: You're the one that threw the dude's car at her. And what's with the train?
Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Why didn't you just go straight up in the air with the car? You've obviously injured that poor woman.
Rail Crossing Crowd #3: She's right. She should sue you.
John Hancock: Okay. Well, you should sue McDonald's, 'cause they fucked you up.
Easter Island Head: HEY!
[pauses]
Easter Island Head: Dum-dum.
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[some people are running away]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun.
[Attila yells and chases Larry]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!
Lord Richard Croft: All myths are foundations of reality.