Kah Mun Rah: [Darth Vader holds his hand up with a pinching motion] What is that? What is that? What does it mean? I don't know… you've lost me. Is that your breathing? Because I can't hear myself think.
[pause]
Kah Mun Rah: Let me tell you kindly, just simplify. There's too much going on! You're not evil, you're asthmatic, and what's with the cape? Are we going to the opera? I don't think so. Goodbye!
[Darth Vader and Oscar the Grouch leave]
Ichabod Crane: Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.
Joe Gavilan: Don't call me sir. I work for a living.
[repeated line]
Various: Fuck you Chelios!
John Smith: [while driving, pursued by hit men in three black BMW'S] I never told you, but I was married once before.
Jane Smith: [slams on the brakes]
John Smith: What's wrong with you?
Jane Smith: [slapping John's arms and legs] You're what's wrong with me John.
John Smith: It was just a drunken Vegas thing.
Jane Smith: Oh, that's better. That's *much* better.
[pause]
Jane Smith: What's her name and social security number?
John Smith: No, you're not gonna kill her.
Mitch McDeere: I got mine, Wayne, you get the rest of them.
Wayne Tarrance: Get 'em with what? Overbilling, mail fraud? Oh, that's exciting.
Mitch McDeere: It's not sexy, but it's got teeth! Ten thousand dollars and five years in prison. That's ten and five for each act. Have you really looked at that? You've got every partner in the firm on overbilling. There's two hundred fifty acts of documented mail fraud there. That's racketeering! That's minimum one thousand, two hundred fifty years in prison and half a million dollars in fines. That's more than you had on Capone.
Truman: [repeated line; frequently in the show] Good morning, oh and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Ian Donnelly: [reading from a book by Louise Banks] "Language is the foundation of civilization. It is the glue that holds a people together. It is the first weapon drawn in a conflict."
[from trailer]
Dave Harken: [Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who fucked my wife.
Detective Hagan: Do you want to explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone? One block from the victim's house. Just moments after he got shot dead.
Nick Hendricks: I was drag-racing. I'm a drag-racer.
Detective Samson: You were drag-racing.
Nick Hendricks: [nods]
Detective Samson: In a Prius.
Nick Hendricks: I don't win a lot.