I think you’re really beautiful and I feel really warm when I’m around you and my tongue swells up.
So… do you wanna eat food?
Tell me something I can hold on to forever and never let go.
[holding shoes Balthazar has just given him]
These are old-man shoes.
[having noticed that Balthazar is wearing the same style of shoe]
I love them… a lot.
What happened to your face? It’s filthy.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I was cleaning the chimney.
We have no chimney.
We’re criminals, Alfred. We’ve always been criminals. Nothing’s changed.
Oh, yes it has, sir. Everything’s changed. Men fall from the sky, the gods hurl thunderbolts, innocents die. That’s how it starts, sir. The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men… cruel.
I’m going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers… or I’ll put you back in the box.
I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!
Young Josh, Billy:
The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don’t let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend – a triscuit. She said, a triscuit – a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly’s out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.
What are your qualifications?
Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I’m qualified?