Breaking and entering: okay on Christmas.
[talking to a can full of his dad’s ashes]
Dad… You were like a father to me.
I’m a Crank. I’m slowly going crazy. I keep wanting to chew off my own fingers and randomly kill people.
There’s been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop…
I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that…
I know that it’s confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I’m a superhero.
I never said you were a superhero.
Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I’m just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I’ve made, largely public.
[whispers to Tony]
Just stick to the cards, man.
[holds up his notes and pauses]
The truth is…
[puts cards down]
I am Iron Man.
[singing to Britney tune]
Oops, I’ve got a career, by shakin’ my rear, and makin’ guys leer.
Oh, baby, baby.
Oops. I’m gonna sing more, and dance like a whore, I’m just not talented.
Paradise is where I am, your grandpa used to say.
Have you come to bring the wrath of Zeus upon me boy?
Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris:
Mahoney! Remember, that nobody screws with me.
Well, maybe you’ll meet the right girl and all that will change.