Toll Road: Heard you killed more people than the plague!
Doc: How 'bout that.
Gunnar Jensen: Why do they call you 'Doctor Death'?
Doc: Used to be a medic. But that was a long time ago.
Toll Road: So why'd you get locked away?
Doc: Tax evasion.

Toll Road: Heard you killed more people than the plague!
Doc: How 'bout that.
Gunnar Jensen: Why do they call you 'Doctor Death'?
Doc: Used to be a medic. But that was a long time ago.
Toll Road: So why'd you get locked away?
Doc: Tax evasion.
Les Grossman: First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
Barney Ross: I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?
Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.
Les Grossman: First, take a big step back… and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an un-Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
Sandra: What are your names?
Lee Christmas: [points to himself] Buda…
Lee Christmas: [points to Barney] … Pest
Sandra: Follow me, please.
[walks away]
Barney Ross: [slowly turns to Lee; deadpan] Buda and Pest? Nice.
Mouse Finbar: Did I die and turn into a small muscular boy scout?
Balin: [sees a chamber full of dead dwarves, with their only means of escape blocked] The last of our kin. They must have come here hoping beyond hope. We could make for the mines. Might last a few days.
Thorin Oakenshield: No. I will not die like this, cowering, clawing for breath. We make for the forges.
Dwalin: He'll see us! Sure as death.
Thorin Oakenshield: Not if we split up.
Balin: Thorin, we'll never make it.
Thorin Oakenshield: Some of us might. Lead him to the forges. We kill the dragon. If this is to end in fire, then we will all burn together!
Frodo: I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.
Ace: That's quite a wrap you're wearing! Perhaps I could get you some fluffy new slippers made from the heads of innocent and defenseless baby seals!
Skinny Husband: Who is this ghastly man?
Ace: Ace Ventura, pet detective. And YOU must be the Monopoly guy! Hey.
[whispering]
Ace: Thanks for the free parking.
Pompous woman: Another ACTIVIST, McGuire.
Skinny Husband: Activist, yes.
[snobby laugh]
Ace: [imitating him] Activist, yes, mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm!
Pompous woman: Mr. Ventura, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of nature. You should try it sometime.
Ace: Alrighty then!
[smacks man in the face which knocks him unconscious, drapes him over his shoulders and begins to sing and dance exotically]
Ace: [shakes man] Do not pass go! Do not collect $200!
[hands back man to pompous woman]
Ace: It's lovely, but I fancy myself an autumn!
Adrian Helmsley: The moment we stop fighting for each other, that's the moment we lose our humanity.