State Trooper:
[sobbing]
Please! I have a wife and kids. Please!
Thelma:
You do? Well, you’re lucky. You be sweet to ’em, especially your wife. My husband wasn’t sweet to me. Look how I turned out.

State Trooper:
[sobbing]
Please! I have a wife and kids. Please!
Thelma:
You do? Well, you’re lucky. You be sweet to ’em, especially your wife. My husband wasn’t sweet to me. Look how I turned out.
James Bond:
[entering Greek Confessional Booth]
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Q:
[removing priest disguise, to Bond’s surprise]
That’s putting it mildly, 007! Your signal nearly sent Whitehall into shock. Do you know, so far we have managed to locate 439 St. Cyril’s in Greece. Heaven only knows to which one Kristatos took the ATAC.
James Bond:
I know a well-informed person to contact about that, Q.
Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defence:
My God, what’s Bond doing?
Q:
I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.
Ethan Hunt:
[about recruiting Nyah]
I don’t think I can get her to do it.
Mission Commander Swanbeck:
You mean it’ll be difficult?
Ethan Hunt:
Very.
Mission Commander Swanbeck:
Well, this is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it’s mission impossible. ”Difficult” should be a walk in the park for you.
Toll Road: Heard you killed more people than the plague!
Doc: How 'bout that.
Gunnar Jensen: Why do they call you 'Doctor Death'?
Doc: Used to be a medic. But that was a long time ago.
Toll Road: So why'd you get locked away?
Doc: Tax evasion.
Lord Richard Croft: All myths are foundations of reality.
Amanda:
This is how you make dinosaurs?
Dr. Grant:
No. This is how you play God.
[last lines]
[Bond and Anya are discovered making love]
M:
007!
General Anatol Gogol:
XXX!
Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defence:
Bond! What do you think you’re doing?
James Bond:
Keeping the British end up, sir.
James Bond:
I mean sir, who would pay a million dollars to have me killed?
M:
Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!
Johnny English: [wrestling elderly woman] She was in Hong Kong! She's the killer!
Pamela: She's my mother!
Johnny English: Couldn't she be both?