Joshua Templeman: Lucy, I've had a lot of women…
Lucy Hutton: I seriously hope there's an end to that sentence.
Etikettarkiv: Komedi
Huset med den mystiska klockan
Jonathan Barnavelt: Have a look around, it's perfectly safe…
[a tentacled monster opens a door, Jonathan shoves it back]
Lewis Barnavelt: THAT's safe?
Jonathan Barnavelt: As long as it's fed.
Happiest Season
John: Hey, Harper not coming out to her parents has nothing to do with you.
Abby: How could it not?
John: Remind me, what did your parents say when you told them you were gay?
Abby: Um, that they loved and supported me.
John: That's amazing! My dad kicked me out of the house and didn't talk to me for 13 years after I told him. Everybody's story is different. There's your version and my version, and everything in between. But the one thing all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words. When your heart is racing and you don't know what's coming next. That moment's really terrifying! And once you say those words, you can't un-say them. A chapter has ended, and a new one's begun. You have to be ready for that. You can't do it for anyone else.
[pauses]
John: Just because Harper isn't ready doesn't mean she never will be, and it doesn't mean she doesn't love you.
En förtrollad romans
Dalton Russell: I'm no martyr. I did it for the money. But it's not worth much if you can't face yourself in the mirror. Respect is the ultimate currency. I was stealing from a man who traded his away for a few dollars. And then he tried to wash away his guilt. Drown it in a lifetime of good deeds and a sea of respectability. It almost worked, too. But inevitably, the further you run from your sins, the more exhausted you are when they catch up to you. And they do. Certain. It will not fail.
Blades of Glory
Jimmy: So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
Coach: Oh, really?
Chazz: We're gonna dance to one song, and one song only: "Lady Humps" by the Blackeyed Peas. "What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk? I'm a get you, get you drunk, get you drunk off my lady humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady humps."
Jimmy: [disgusted] I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps. I don't even know what that means.
Chazz: No one knows what it means, but it's provocative…
Jimmy: No, it's not, it's gross…
Chazz: …It gets the people going!
Office Christmas Party
Clay Vanstone: I gotta tell you, I was always like, "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," and she was like, "Words, words, words and some numbers." But she did it.
Coyote Creek Christmas
Dylan Bailey: So, what's with all the cobwebs?
Paige Parker: [chuckles] It's Ukrainian folklore. There was once an old widow who lived with her children in this tiny shack. And they had no gifts or decorations. And on Christmas morning, they woke up to find their Christmas tree completely covered in cobwebs. But when sunlight entered the shack, all the cobwebs turned to gold.
Dylan Bailey: Oh. I love stories about the importance of material wealth.
Paige Parker: [chuckles] Well, I like it because it shows that anything is possible during the Christmas season. No matter who you are, where you come from, there is always a little hope for some Christmas magic. You never know what can be waiting for you in the morning.
Ensam hemma 2 – vilse i New York
Kate McCallister: [at the Plaza Hotel] What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?
Desk Clerk: The boy had a very convincing story.
Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.
Love, Rosie
Dick: [Rosie sees the doctor for the stuck condom in her vagina] Hi, I'm Dick.
Rosie Dunne: Of course, you are.
Ensam hemma
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.
Check-Out Woman: Where's your mom?
Kevin McCallister: My mom's in the car.
Check-Out Woman: Where's your father?
Kevin McCallister: He's at work.
Check-Out Woman: What about your brothers and your sisters?
Kevin McCallister: I'm an only child.
Check-Out Woman: Where do you live?
Kevin McCallister: Uh, I can't tell you that.
Check-Out Woman: Why not?
Kevin McCallister: Because you're a stranger.