Muse: Look at me.
Captain Richard Phillips: Sure.
Muse: Look at me.
Captain Richard Phillips: Sure.
Muse: I'm the captain now.
Next Stop, Christmas
Aunt Myrt: I didn't even know they were dating.
Angie Reynolds: Oh. It's an, it's a new thing. I don't think its serious Aunt Myrt.
Aunt Myrt: Hm. Funny. I always thought you and Ben would wind up together.
Angie Reynolds: You too. Maybe I need to get us t-shirts that say just friends.
Aunt Myrt: [chuckles] The very best relationships start out that way. My late husband was my best friend before we were married.
Pelikanfallet
Gray Grantham: Do you want to talk about the brief?
Darby Shaw: Everyone I have told about the brief is dead.
Gray Grantham: I take my chances.
Office Christmas Party
Clay Vanstone: I gotta tell you, I was always like, "Tracey, this doesn't make any sense," and she was like, "Words, words, words and some numbers." But she did it.
Coyote Creek Christmas
Dylan Bailey: So, what's with all the cob webs?
Paige Parker: [chuckles] It's Ukrainian folklore. There was once an old widow who lived with her children in this tiny shack. And they had no gifts or decorations. And on Christmas morning, they woke up to find their Christmas tree completely covered in cob webs. But when sunlight entered the shack, all the cob webs turned to gold.
Dylan Bailey: Oh. I love stories about the importance of material wealth.
Paige Parker: [chuckles] Well, I like it because it shows that anything is possible during the Christmas season. No matter who you are, where you come from, there is always a little hope for some Christmas magic. You never know what can be waiting for you in the morning.
Ensam hemma 2 – vilse i New York
Kate McCallister: [at the Plaza Hotel] What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?
Desk Clerk: The boy had a very convincing story.
Kate McCallister: What kind of idiots do you have working here?
Desk Clerk: The finest in New York.
Love, Rosie
Dick: [Rosie sees the doctor for the stuck condom in her vagina] Hi, I'm Dick.
Rosie Dunne: Of course, you are.
Ensam hemma
Check-Out Woman: Are you here all by yourself?
Kevin McCallister: Ma'am, I'm eight years old. You think I would be here alone? I don't think so.
Check-Out Woman: Where's your mom?
Kevin McCallister: My mom's in the car.
Check-Out Woman: Where's your father?
Kevin McCallister: He's at work.
Check-Out Woman: What about your brothers and your sisters?
Kevin McCallister: I'm an only child.
Check-Out Woman: Where do you live?
Kevin McCallister: Uh, I can't tell you that.
Check-Out Woman: Why not?
Kevin McCallister: Because you're a stranger.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
Jessica's Dad: [walks in his bathroom covered in chocolate] Oh, my God. He shit everywhere.
[screaming]
Jessica's Dad: THERE'S SHIT EVERYWHERE! DAMNIT! THEY SHIT ON THE WINDOWS! OH MY GOD! MY HOUSE IS FULL OF SHIT! HE SHIT EVERYWHERE! LOOK WHAT HE DID HE SHIT ALL OVER THE WALL!
Mechanic: Resurrection
Arthur Bishop: Tell your principal it never pays to fuck with the dead.