Alice: But, you know, God, you make a decision about your life when you're 25 years old and then you fast-forward 15 years later and you think, God, was that really the life decision that's, like, a good life decision for the rest of your life? Then you're just, like, "I don't know."
Doris Strelzyk: If you said the wrong thing, it could be very dangerous.
Veronica Corningstone: For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.
Ron Burgundy: And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.
Colonel Mulholland: The most important thing you take into battle, is the reason why.
Rhyme: There are five basic contaminants in a crime scene. I'll skip to the worse one. Other cops.
Mr. Evans: 48 years ago I marched into war with my friends to fight men in swastikas. Today I see swastikas on young men on the streets of Luton. That was a very brave poem, young man. You must write more and get your message out. N.F. scum indeed!
Tyler: What's rule number one?
Zak: Party.
Adam: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?
Dora Angioli: You're so thin… no one trusts a skinny cook.
[last lines]
Marshall: [voice-over] Why do you fight it so hard, Earl?
Mr. Earl Brooks: [whispering to himself] God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time and enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is and not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.