Dr. Wilbur Larch: Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

Dr. Wilbur Larch: Goodnight, you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.
Pere Henri: I'm not sure what the theme of my homily today ought to be. Do I want to speak of the miracle of Our Lord's divine transformation? Not really, no. I don't want to talk about His divinity. I'd rather talk about His humanity. I mean, you know, how He lived His life, here on Earth. His *kindness*, His *tolerance*… Listen, here's what I think. I think that we can't go around… measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think… we've got to measure goodness by what we *embrace*, what we create… and who we include.
Detective Travis Cole: Okay, but I gotta… I gotta cross my "i"s and dot my "t"s.
Iceman: You! You are still dangerous. But you can be my wingman any time.
Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.
[Last Barman poem]
Brian: I am the last barman poet / I see America drinking the fabulous cocktails I make / Americans getting stinky on something I stir or shake / The sex on the beach / The schnapps made from peach / The velvet hammer / The Alabama slammer. / I make things with juice and froth / The pink squirrel / The three-toed sloth. / I make drinks so sweet and snazzy / The iced tea / The kamakazi / The orgasm / The death spasm / The Singapore sling / The dingaling. / America you've just been devoted to every flavor I got / But if you want to got loaded / Why don't you just order a shot? / Bar is open.
Persson: You see, I got the tip and I…
Justitieministern: Fishing?
Persson: Beg pardon?
Justitieministern: Mr Persson's hobby is fishing, am I right?
Persson: Well, yeah…
Justitieministern: Then I suggest that Mr Persson will make a big fishing trip. Starting tomorrow morning.
Persson: For how long?
Justitieministern: Early retirement normally lasts for life!
John Hancock: All of you people, blocking the intersection, you're all idiots.
Rail Crossing Crowd #1: You're the one that threw the dude's car at her. And what's with the train?
Rail Crossing Crowd #2: Why didn't you just go straight up in the air with the car? You've obviously injured that poor woman.
Rail Crossing Crowd #3: She's right. She should sue you.
John Hancock: Okay. Well, you should sue McDonald's, 'cause they fucked you up.
Dr. King Schultz: [aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle] You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
[Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse]
Django: I'm positive he dead.
Easter Island Head: HEY!
[pauses]
Easter Island Head: Dum-dum.
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[some people are running away]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun.
[Attila yells and chases Larry]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!
Sandy: My parents want to invite you over for tea on Sunday.
Danny: I don't like tea.
Sandy: [laughing] You don't have to drink tea.
Danny: I don't like parents.