Ox: Knock, knock!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Who's there?
Ox: Buu!
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Buu, who?
Ox: Quit crying! This will be over in a moment!
[Hightower lets go of Ox]
Sergeant Moses Hightower: Fighting is one thing, but bad jokes is where I draw the line!
[Hightower hits Ox and knocks him out]
Boyd 'Bible' Swan: Wait until you see it.
Norman Ellison: See what?
Boyd 'Bible' Swan: What a man can do to another man.
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Some dickhead is standing in my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Oh, Captain Harris! Hey, I didn't see you there. You know, I don't think we've been introduced. My name is Nick…
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: I don't care who you are, buttwipe. Just get out of my sun!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Scram, sleazeball!
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Okay, fine.
[Leaves]
Sgt. Nick Lassard: Buttwipe, huh? Never heard that before.
Lt. Proctor: That was great, Sir!
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Proctor?
Lt. Proctor: Yes, Sir?
Capt. Thaddeus Harris: Now you're in my sun.
Baby: You and I are a team, Doc.
Doc: Don't feed me any more lines from Monsters Inc. It pisses me off.
Doc: It's one of Samm 's favourite.
Stu: Did you really call the police?
Sidney Prescott: You bet your sorry ass I did.
Stu: [starting to cry] My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!
Grandma Sandy: You get reminded what a sack of shit you are five times a day, after a while, you can't believe *anyone* could ever love you.
Angela: Just think about it. Our whole world is sitting there on a computer. It's in the computer, everything: your, your DMV records, your, your social security, your credit cards, your medical records. It's all right there. Everyone is stored in there. It's like this little electronic shadow on each and everyone of us, just, just begging for someone to screw with, and you know what? They've done it to me, and you know what? They're gonna do it to you.
Stig-Helmer Olsson: [after Roderic and Fiona McDougall repeatedly pronounces his name Steve] It's pronounced Stig.
Captain Harris: Don't touch those! Don't you ever touch my balls without asking!
Loretta: Why are you so handsome?
Jack Trainer: My father was a weatherman.