Ritual (2002)

The Crypt Keeper: [in a fake Jamaican accent] Oh, what up my people? Welcome to Jamaica man! This is your old bosom bloody the Cryptkeeper. Hot Girl: Nice hair. The Crypt Keeper: Aint they cool? On me they call these ”deadlocks”. [Cackles] The Crypt Keeper: Woah! One of the things I love about Jamaica is the eye popping honeys. Of course, I’d prefer them with a little less meat on their bones, or better yet, just bones [Cackles. A woman brings him a drink with a shrunken head in it] The Crypt Keeper: T’anks but that’s not what I be meanin when I say I want a little head. [Cackles] The Crypt Keeper: Anyway, mon, I just wrapped my new movie here in Jamaica, where they dance, smoke grass and all the nice girls be in the voodoo trance. What a place to work. You’ve got mangos, papayas, [Focus in on a woman’s breasts] The Crypt Keeper: tourists and they’re all so delicous. [Cackles] The Crypt Keeper: So enough of the jabberin’ [We focus in on a woman lying on her back. She’s slowly taking off her bra] The Crypt Keeper: Our movie awaits… oy! So sit back and relaxe kiddies, and don’t worry, be happy! The beast is yet to come! Hahahahahahaha!


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