If you hurt a hair on his head, I will pull a Michael Corleone on you.
Michael Corleone? Who’s that? Is that a threat?
The Old Man:
Keep your thought as pure as the water.
Hey, this water ain’t really that pure.
The Old Man:
Un-heh, neither are you.
Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.
Even now I cannot understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this. I know that when he died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open. And I’m pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place, because he was buried on the mountain. And that was against the law.
Hello, I’m Dr. Bean. Apparently. And my job is to sit and look at paintings. So, what have I learned that I can say about this painting? Well, firstly, it’s really quite big, which is excellent. because If it were really small, you know, microscopic, then hardly anyone would be able to see it. Which would be a tremendous shame. Secondly, and I’m getting quite near the end of this… analysis… of this painting, secondly, why was it worth this man here spending fifty million of your American dollars on this portrait? And the answer to that is, well this painting is with such a lot of money because… it’s a picture of Whistler’s mother. And as I’ve learned by staying with my best friend David Langley and his family, families are very important and Even though Mr. Whistler was prefectly aware that his mother was a hideous old bat who looked like she’d had a cactus lodged up her backside, he stuck with her, and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her. It’s not just a painting. It’s a picture of a mad old cow who he thought the world of. And that’s marvellous… Well that’s what I think.
[Stan and Ollie have just heard that they will be executed the next day]
Shot at sunrise!
I hope it’s cloudy tomorrow!
I’m going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers… or I’ll put you back in the box.
I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!
It’s about distraction. It’s about focus. The brain is slow and it can’t multitask. Tap him here, take from there.