Breaking and entering: okay on Christmas.
[talking to a can full of his dad’s ashes]
Dad… You were like a father to me.
[singing to Britney tune]
Oops, I’ve got a career, by shakin’ my rear, and makin’ guys leer.
Oh, baby, baby.
Oops. I’m gonna sing more, and dance like a whore, I’m just not talented.
Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris:
Mahoney! Remember, that nobody screws with me.
Well, maybe you’ll meet the right girl and all that will change.
You think you can step into my ‘hood, slinging game at my girl, drinkin’ my boy’s brew, and expect not to be scrappin’ directly?
Are you deaf and stupid? I said…
Don’t… don’t repeat all that please. I think the answer to your question depends on whether you have like a… like a learning disability, or you’re just an average moron.
[Gabe punches Carter]
Okay, above-average moron.
Hey Webster, show a little respect!
Dante Slate, Jr.:
I choose to believe that you just called me Webster because of my dictionary-sized vocabulary, NOT because of my height and race!
Nope, it’s because you’re short and black!
Dante Slate, Jr.:
What was Jesus like? I’m curious. Was he cool?
I guess I really missed who I used to be and Aiden was such a big part of that. And yes I wanted the flirting and yes I wanted the attention, but I didn’t want the kiss. The minute I kissed Aiden, I remembered who I used to be. Someone just running around New York like a crazy person, trying to get the one man I love to love me back. And now he does love me, and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me. And I really hope my past hasn’t screwed up my future. And what’s so bad about a couch anyway?
[at a supermarket]
I’ll tell you what I’m doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don’t need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don’t need rather than make a stink. Well they’re not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I’m not paying for one more thing I don’t need. George Banks is saying NO!
Who’s George Banks?