I’m a Crank. I’m slowly going crazy. I keep wanting to chew off my own fingers and randomly kill people.
The Old Man:
Keep your thought as pure as the water.
Hey, this water ain’t really that pure.
The Old Man:
Un-heh, neither are you.
Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.
[as he’s taking off his diving suit to reveal his tuxedo]
Maybe one day I’ll wear this to a party I’m actually invited to.
Even now I cannot understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this. I know that when he died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open. And I’m pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place, because he was buried on the mountain. And that was against the law.
Who are you? Who sent you?
Your old man did.
My dad. What did he say?
Well, I didn’t get to meet him personally. He kind of delegated your rescue. He had a big conference on the corn surplus.
You’re kidding me?
No. No, apparently, we should all be eating more corn.
About my father?
Oh, yeah. I made that other bit up.
Did he have a message for me?
Yes. You are adopted.
You, my friends, are following in the very footsteps of history…
What do you see?
What time is it now?
Clothing Store Clerk:
We missed it.
No, we didn’t. We didn’t miss it because… you don’t know this? I know something about history that you don’t know.
I’d be very excited to learn about it, Riley.
Hold on one second, let me just take in this moment. This is cool. Is this how you feel all the time? Well, except now.
All right! What I know is that daylight savings wasn’t established until World War I. If it’s 3 p.m. now that means that in 1776 it would be 2 p.m.
Riley, you’re a genius.